This time around, God may have been training me to listen to more subtle leading from the Holy Spirit. There were no flashing lights in this case, and there was even more than one door to choose from. Through prayer and searching God's Word, this is the door I was led to go through. At the time, I was doing a women's study on the acts of the apostles. Throughout the study, I took several things to heart that gave me confidence in the decision to stay.
Acts 18 - Shows the importance of spiritual training - both receiving it and passing it on.
I love my home, my family, and my home church. But when I am there, I get comfortable. Too content. Being here has allowed me to break out of whatever mold I may have felt I was stuck in and "grow, grow, grow" like the old Sunday school song. Not only am I being trained, but I get to pass on what I've learned to the teens I work with. It's a win-win!
Now, I won't be so bold as to make the exact statement Paul did (I don't think I'm quite there yet), but when I read this verse on a day I had been praying about "the decision," I knew it was meant for me. I had been with this church for 9 months before I finally felt like things were beginning to move and take shape. I was able to move forward with things that were not possible before. After finally starting to see this progress, to realize that there were only 3 months remaining in my commitment was quite discouraging. When I read the words "...and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me..." I knew that whatever I'm meant to do here, it couldn't be completed in three months.
I Corinthians 8-9 - Surrender to Jesus releases rights for others' gain.
There aren't too many sacrifices I've had to make in coming to Jakarta. Sure, there are little things like good breakfast cereal, Mountain Dew, and snow. But all easily doable. The biggest sacrifice I've had to make is to be away from my family. For awhile there, I couldn't even talk about them without tearing up. Ok, I still can't. I don't think they know just how exciting it is for me when their faces appear on the other side of the computer screen when we have Skype dates.
For me, my family has always meant love, safety, security, comfort, peace, home. In a way, they have become an idol to me. But through giving that up, God has blessed me and shown me that He will fulfill those roles in my life more than even my family ever could. My family has fallen a notch on my list of priorities, but God has gone up to take their place. My responsibility is to please Him, not them. I realized after the fact that in making the decision to stay in Indo I hadn't even asked my family for advice. I asked them to pray, but I didn't ask what they thought about it. This was the epiphany for me that now God's approval matters more to me than my family's.
So much of my work depends on relationship building. First of all, one year is a short time to build relationships. Secondly, if people (especially teens) know that you will only be around for a short time, they are not keen to start the process of getting to know you! Two years, no, still not a long time, but I believe it will help in creating the kind of consistency and commitment that the youth, as well as the youth program, requires.
My job is hard, fun, challenging, exciting, exhausting, and most definitely rewarding. I have been blessed by the people I work with, both teens and adults, in so many ways. Though there are many people and comforts of home that I miss dearly, I can rest knowing that I am stronger in the Lord and He will sustain me. Psalm 139:5-6, "You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain." Hopefully, I can be a part in helping the youth in Jakarta to experience the same thing.
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